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Ambitious Bill To Reduce Washington’s Carbon Footprint While Simultaneously Increasing China’s Carbon Footprint Clears Crucial Senate Committee

State senators expressed measured satisfaction last week after an ambitious bill designed to reduce Washington’s carbon footprint while at the same time increasing China’s carbon footprint cleared its first legal hurdle on its journey to becoming the law of the land.

The bill, SB 6203, was amended and passed last Thursday evening by the Senate energy, environmental, and technology committee.

“It’s imperative that our state’s carbon footprint is reduced, no matter how much more our friends in China will have to work at offsetting all the extra carbon generated by the jobs we’d be sending their way,” said one of the bill’s sponsors, Senator Reuven Carlyle.

Senators argued it was their duty to do whatever they could in lowering Washington’s creation of toxic greenhouse gases.

“Washington needs to take the lead in the global fight against climate change, even if that means greenhouse gas production is essentially outsourced to countries that couldn’t care less about poisoning the only habitable planet in our solar system,” added Carlyle.

The proposed measure levies a tax staring at $10 per metric ton of carbon emissions. This amount increases $2 annually until the cap of $30 per metric ton is reached.

Drivers could potentially see gas prices climb by as much as 36 cents a gallon over the next 11 years, and a good zero percent of the money raised would go towards alleviating traffic congestion in a region recently determined to be the second worst place in the country to drive in.

“We understand that this tax will hit our motorists, especially our lower-income ones, particularly hard at the gas pump. But with any luck though, these people will either be forced onto mass transit or just walk everywhere anyway. Exercise is good. And besides, driving is not a right; it’s a privilege for those rich enough to absorb the cost of gas and parking,” expressed Carlyle.

The bill’s sponsors urged the public to keep in mind that a state with fewer jobs, fewer cars, and fewer people produces much less in the way of planet-killing greenhouse gases than states that have those things in abundance.

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