LYNNWOOD — His austere visage appearing suddenly from behind the petrified man’s computer screen, Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg reportedly asked local conservative Thomas Millen, “Are you sure you want to post that?”.
“You should really think twice about the kind of speech you put out there,” warned the dour tech executive, his gaze steady and unblinking. Voice ominously flat, he continued, “I’ve shadowbanned others for much less, and you wouldn’t want me to do that.”
Millen, according to sources, had just penned a short missive about the folly of identity politics when Zuckerberg came to enforce his company’s draconian, albeit loosely defined, hate speech policy.
“I’m sorry, but you know I can’t allow that, Tom.”
At press time, Millen was reportedly startled by a sharp knock on his door, to which Zuckerberg explained, “Oh, I have ways of ensuring compliance. It’s all in the user agreement you consented to.”