SEATTLE — With the passage of the $275 per employee head tax, the city of Seattle has finally found a way to force evil job makers to pay for the homelessness crisis they had no hand in creating.
“Seattle’s selfish job creators should know they’re on the hook for a problem they have absolutely no responsibility for,” councilwoman said Kshama Sawant in a statement to press.
Sawant added that greedy Seattle businesses can rest in the knowledge their money will be used to virtually no effect, with vast sums squandered by clueless city officials.
“My only regret in all of this is that we couldn’t find a way to be even more generous with other people’s money. But, what can you do?”
At press time, a smiling Sawant, still ruminating over the countless millions slated to be raked in by the new tax, wondered how people could be so greedy.