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Groundbreaking study finds that being alive is number one risk factor in dying
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Groundbreaking Study Finds That Being Alive Is Number One Risk Factor For Dying

A new study commissioned by a Washington State University research team has shown conclusively that being alive is the number one predictor of death.

“The statistical link between life and death is undeniable, really. We’ve been able to determine that, generally speaking, every person who has died was at one point alive,” said Dr. Raymond Reynolds, a spokesman for the study.

“As such, being alive places a person at a strikingly high risk of dying one day,” he added.

So high of a risk, according to the researchers, that leaving the world after entering it is a virtual certainty.

And for those living now, it’s really only a matter of time, says Reynolds.

“During the course of our study, the conviction came about that further exploring desperately needs to be conducted in uncovering the mysterious link between life and death. The research right now, sadly, is sorely lacking. Our hope is that maybe, somehow, the cords that tie life and death together would be severed, resulting in many lives being saved,” he explained.

“We’ll never know if we don’t look into it, and we’ve got nothing to lose by trying.”

Reynolds went on to argue that with the risk of eventual death so high, any findings from further research should immediately be harnessed with the aim of reducing death’s tenacious and unyielding grip on the living.