SEATAC — Taking a firm stance against passengers abusing its animal travel policies, American Airlines prevented an absolutely adorable 318 pound emotional support goat from boarding an outbound flight to Dallas.
“How could this be their decision?” asked a bewildered Jon Manford, the animal’s owner. “Tiny is completely harmless, a gentle giant by any other name.”
Manford feels that just because Tiny lures female goats into his gentle, loving embrace by peeing on his own face, he really shouldn’t be immediately discounted from close-quarters travel with people.
“Honestly, the smell isn’t really all that bad once you’re used to it — an enchanting, semi-nauseating musk that goes a long way in easing one’s fear of flying.”
At publishing time, a frantic Manford, hands waving wildly as he pleaded with a stubborn ticketing clerk, explained that Tiny wouldn’t ever eat her sandwich again.