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House cats successfully bred in captivity for the 1,466,125th time this year

MARYSVILLE, Wash. — A Marysville couple is receiving accolades from across the world after announcing that their two cats, raised exclusively in captivity, had successfully given birth to this year’s 1,466,125th litter of kittens.

“We can hardly believe we’ve successfully bred two domesticated felines just like countless others have done for thousands of years,” said the couple to a group of reporters gathered to cover the birth.

They hope their story will spur other attempts to unnecessarily grow cat populations where the creatures are already in over-abundance.

“Knowing that we’ve encouraged others to heedlessly breed their unaltered pets pretty much makes our day,” added the couple.

At press time, the couple indicated they were considering attempting to breed the world’s 1.234e^23th rabbit kit.

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