SEATTLE — Apparently unaware of the gaping maw right before him, governor Jay Inslee reportedly tumbled hundreds of feet into the state’s immeasurably deep and growing urban-rural divide, and is now recovering in Harborview Medical Center’s intensive care unit.
“The governor’s office wants to assure the state’s people that he hopes for a speedy recovery from his injuries,” said a spokesman, noting that while Inslee had plummeted into the widest part of the sprawling chasm that separates Seattle, Olympia, and parts of King and Snohomish counties from the rest of the state, he thankfully had not fallen into the deepest.
“The doctors say that considering how many times he bounced and flipped head-over-foot before landing flat on the fissure’s hard, earthen floor, he’s in very good shape. He’s a real fighter, our state’s leader is.”
The spokesman went on to say that had Inslee instead dropped into the ravine surrounding Washington, D.C., the governor’s prognosis would be a much different story.