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Jittery Woman Can’t Wait To See New Movie And Compulsively Check Phone Every Few Minutes

TUKWILA — Petrified of what she might miss after the movie started rolling, local jittery woman Janine Andrews says she can’t wait to compulsively check her phone every few minutes or so.

“Ever since I saw the trailer on YouTube, I could think of nothing else except missing two hours of compelling screenplay for the little buzzing device that never leaves my side,” said Andrews, a glistening iPhone X cradled gently in her left palm, its bright AMOLED screen ablaze with a dizzying display of notifications and updates.

Refreshing her Facebook newsfeed just to be sure some new update had not posted in the last 38 seconds, Andrews recounted a time she had inadvertently killed her phone’s battery by forgetting to charge it before the movie started.

“Yeah,” she chuckled nervously in recollection of the event, “that was a pretty bad day. Nowadays I carry a Jackery Bar 6000mAh Pocket-sized Ultra Compact External Battery Power Bank in my purse. The powerful 5.0V/2.1A USB charging port brings me back up with minimal downtime. You just don’t want to take chances with the important stuff, you know.”

At publishing time, a deflated Andrews, clutching a lifeless phone in a darkened theater, discovered her emergency charger was dead too.