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Just in time for Halloween, Fremont’s Lenin statue is reanimated as 8-ton, capitalism-crushing juggernaut

FREMONT, Wash. – In what is now a tradition for the community, celebratory onlookers watched in delight as Fremont’s iconic Lenin statue was made alive for its annual Halloween bash.

The huge statue groaned and shuddered as its bronze metallic structure somehow became pliable. Fingers thick as a normal man’s arms twitched and then shot out one by one. The statue’s arms and legs then found their strength and mobility too. Its shoulders, seeming to contain the strength of Atlas himself, followed.

And at last, the immense head titled left and right, as if merely stretching after a long nap.

Its massive legs straightening, the metallic creature stood at full height and began making its way east.

After several minutes, it departed from sight under cheers and applause.

Each October, advanced science, hard work, and just a pinch of wizardry give life to the 16-foot, 8-ton sculpture, which is modeled after the “Father of Communism”, Vladimir Lenin.

A photo of the regular, non-metallic Lenin.
A photo of the regular, non-metallic Lenin.

After the awakening ceremony, the behemoth begins shambling towards what it perceives as the greatest symbol of the materialistic excesses of the bourgeoisie: Wall Street.

“He has a long way to go,” said one attendee. “But that’s why we wake him up when we do. It’s going to take him a while, especially since he’s an 8-ton statue without a driver’s license.”

The Lenin statue is also predicted to deliver several rousing speeches to the proletariat along the way.

Upon arriving at its final destination, experts predict it will inflict great damage with its mammoth, capitalism-crushing fists.

“We’re hoping for another smashing Halloween celebration where Lenin triumphs over Wall Street,” another person at the even stated.

The Lenin statue only has until midnight on October 31st to complete its work, at which point it will return to its previously inert state.

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