TOKYO, Japan — North Korean laughing stock Kim Jong-un surprised the world again by sending another missile over Japan — this time with himself straddling the craft’s fuselage.
“I looked up and saw Kim Jong-un shooting across the morning sky, strapped in for the biggest joyride of his life,” said one witness, questioning if the dictator had worked out the finer details of his landing.
Other witnesses explained that Kim Jong-un made several resounding hoots and fist pump motions before vanishing over the horizon.
“I guess even deranged, despotic autocrats like to cut loose just like the rest of us,” said another onlooker.
The USS Nimitz-led carrier group, assigned to the region, tracked the missile’s trajectory. After leaving the Japanese mainland, it flew another 318 miles east before finally splashing into the Pacific.
“I just feel bad for all the creatures that live where he landed. No doubt they’ve already been conscripted into making another absurdly large statue in Kim Jong-Un’s honor,” said a Navy spokesman.
Anonymous North Korean government sources indicated the country’s infamous leader increasingly felt the need for some “fresh air” and that he just wanted some “zone time” for himself.