LYNNWOOD, Wash. — Lynnwood man Steven Phillips, shaking and hunched over in agonizing concentration, is reportedly on the verge of unleashing an ability of extreme power.
“There’s simply no way he isn’t going to release some explosive mutant power that he’s struggled to contain his entire life,” said one witness, echoing the sentiments of those also watching the man.
Others confirmed Phillips was either going to morph into a muscled green giant, send a fiery wave of death outward, or bend the fabric of spacetime itself to perform an otherwise impossible combat feat.
“I’m pretty sure whatever enemies he has are about to be obliterated in a most spectacular fashion,” explained another witness.
At publishing time, sources reported several dark-garbed figures scrambling to flee their inevitable destruction.