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Office building with deadly hallway intersection.
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Pleas For Traffic Signal In Busy Office Hallway Intersection Remain Unanswered, Despite Fourth Fatality This Month

SEATTLE — Ignoring daily accidents and a mounting death toll, upper management at a Seattle accounting firm again denied requests for a traffic signal to be placed at their office’s main hallway intersection, according to reports.

“Right now, it’s a total free-for-all. Everybody simply plunges through at the same time, with practically zero regard for anyone else’s safety,” said bruised and battered CPA Jeff Hackman.

Other bloodied staff explained that the intersection’s poor lighting and overgrown corner shrubbery contribute to many of the intersection’s frequent mishaps.

And according to project manager Cheryl Robins, it’s never been this bad, either.

“In my 32 years here, I’ve never seen a worse pile up than what that fire drill caused last month. This is getting out of hand. I don’t know how they can continue to deny this common sense request for basic traffic safety.”

At publishing time, sources indicated management members were considering widening the intersection and adding sidewalks, but they had still deemed a traffic light unnecessary.