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Report: More Riders Prefer Trains With Sleek Airfoils Than Not

SEATTLE — Saying that it reflected the best decision by far in appealing to a dwindling ridership, Sound Transit officials extolled Friday a report indicating that riders overwhelmingly preferred trains equipped with streamlined, aerodynamic fins over the bland, non-aerodynamically enhanced versions that didn’t.

“We kind of figured tacking on a bunch of oversized airfoils at least couldn’t hurt our general perception of coolness out there,” said spokesman Bret Hamling, adding that the decision was made to combat the growing notion that mass transit usually means shoulder-to-shoulder travel with the weird and sometimes odorous.

“We wanted to counterbalance that idea. Plus, as a side benefit, we’ve seen these fins lend themselves to negating lateral instability — meaning riders will no longer be tossed about like monkeys in a barrel because their train suddenly decided to corkscrew down the track.”

Hamling went on to say that Sound Transit was also giving weighty consideration to “supremely awesome” racing stripes in order to further boost mass transit’s appeal.

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