Well, we’ve finally made it. It’s 2018 now.
If you haven’t already decided on your list of resolutions, consider these, painstakingly selected by RVN staff!
- Finally quit smoking by going through so many packs that you eventually run out of money to buy more of them.
- Lower your stress level by filling your bathtub with water, letting it overflow, and then imagining your now-flooded bathroom is a soothing hot tub in a luxurious, tropical resort.
- Melt away those extra pounds by committing to as much sedentary activity as possible. Your phone may be mobile, but that doesn’t mean you have to be.
- Travel to an exotic location, such as that rural land parcel placarded with no trespassing signs.
- Take a ton of selfies with the less fortunate as you perform good deeds for them.
- You should really try getting to work on time for once. It’s a glorious thing that’ll save you from getting canned.
- Free yourself from credit card debt by opening several new cards to pay off your existing ones.
- Quit drinking as many times as you need to this new year.
- Learn something new from the questionably sourced news site that your nutty, conspiracy raving friend keeps sending you links from.
- Get organized this year by tossing all your possessions into 30-gallon black trash bags. They’re attractive, heap nicely into a gigantic pile, and plus, you’ll always know that whatever you’re looking for is in one of them.
Have a Happy New Year!