In an aim to single-handedly prove to the owners of a potential Seattle hockey team that at least one Seattleite is willing to spend loads of dough on the sport, local worthy hockey fan Jason Ross reportedly plans to spend a substantial fortune on acquiring all 14,000 season tickets for a sports team that still lacks a name.
Ross said that to come up with the needed money, he cashed out his 401K, sold his pricey Ballard home, and is otherwise currently liquidating anything else of value.
“Nobody in this city of ours is as devoted to this prospective team as I am. Nobody really cares like I do. It’s for this reason I had no choice but to take measures into my own hands. I have to prove, once and for all, that Seattle can make any hockey franchise a proud and profitable one,” said an ecstatic Ross.
Ross explained that in doing so, the team’s owners will have no choice but to bring a team to the city.
According to those who know him best, Ross has been enamored with the idea of a Seattle hockey team ever since he saw a story on Facebook about it a few months back.
“It’s been all that he’s talked about,” said one long-time friend, “and it was starting to get annoying. Just to get him to be quiet, I told him to put his money where his mouth was. I guess he did just that.”
Ross added that his wife, while initially opposing her husband’s desire to be a one-man hockey crowd, is now frantically sending her resume to any who will take it, clinging to the hope that her taking a second job will somehow make it all work.
“What a trooper, and on Valentine’s Day of all days,” he said.