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Shopping Cart Injured During Black Friday Mayhem Recovering, Resting Comfortably

PUYALLUP, Wash. — A Walmart shopping cart remains in critical but stable condition after suffering severe injuries from a Black Friday parking lot incident, according to reports.

“The shopping cart was moving carefully through the parking lot when it was hit by some impatient shopper,” said one witness, adding that the driver didn’t even slow after sending the cart and its unsettled contents careening into a nearby sidewalk.

Several bystanders confirmed that only a Black Friday shopper, recklessly bent on using every coupon in their vast inventory, would so coldly continue on after hearing the cart’s cries for help.

The injured basket was rushed to MultiCare Good Samaritan Hospital in Puyallup, where it underwent immediate, life-saving surgery.

“We’re happy to report that while the cart’s injuries were more extensive than previously thought, we’re expecting it to make a fairly quick recovery. It’ll be back to toting Walmart’s low-priced goods of questionable quality in no time,” said a hospital spokesman.

Authorities are in the process of reviewing surveillance and cell phone footage to identify the person responsible, who reportedly fled the scene of the incident.

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