Just moments after liftoff, the SpaceX employee behind the wheel of the Tesla roadster sent soaring through space Tuesday afternoon came to the horrible realization that one crucial part of the return journey had been overlooked: he had no way of recharging his vehicle once he reached his destination.
Millions watching the livestream of the launch heard the space-suit wearing employee, named Starman, mutter, “Oh, [expletive]. Did anybody think about how I’m supposed to be getting back here? There’s not even a wall outlet where I’m going, let alone a full charging station for electric vehicles. Just how do they think I’m going to recharge this thing?”
“I know I signed up for the Tesla Roadster’s first foray into intra-solar system space travel, but seriously, what guy couldn’t be bothered to at least ensure I’ve got enough juice to make it back?” asked a bewildered Starman.
A SpaceX representative reluctantly admitted to the glaring oversight, but added that the company was already well into planning a retrieval mission for Starman, who would otherwise potentially be orbiting the Sun for hundreds of millions of years.
As Elon Musk’s cherry red sports car continued to hurtle into space at almost 25,000 miles per hour, Starman could be seen shaking his head in disgust at the reminder to not panic prominently displayed on the car’s dashboard.