In a heartfelt act of contrition, Westport man Gary Edwards expressed his remorse after posting an embarrassing Facebook status just moments after he received an alert that a possible tsunami was inbound to the Washington coast.
The ill-thought status, which purportedly detailed Edwards’ various confessions of wrongdoing and his professed, undying love for a long-time female friend, was immediately visible on the feeds of his two-hundred plus Facebook friends.
“I thought it was a bit over the top,” said childhood friend Donald Meeks. “He acted like he thought he was going to shortly be enveloped by the raging Pacific Ocean and swept out to sea, never to be seen or heard from again.”
Edwards’ purported love interest, Josephine Reynolds, was surprised to hear of his affection for her.
“Never in a million years would I have guessed he felt that way. He never let on. But, I suppose the threat of imminent death kind of makes you think twice about what you post on Facebook. You just never know if what you write will be the last thing people ever see from you — the very thing that they will remember for a long time after you’re gone.”
After the tsunami warning was canceled, Edwards quickly took down his compromising post and issued an apology to all who would hear it. But, unfortunately, the damage had already been done.
“I hate to say it, but my friend’s apology status was just too little, too late,” said Meeks. “I mean, some of his confessions were pretty appalling. And while I understand the need to get everything off your chest when you think your time is up, it’s kind of a bitter irony that he has to live with this now.”
At publishing time, a sheepish Edwards was reportedly seen walking through Westport while shielding his face, in a vain attempt to conceal himself from gawking townsfolk.